Fearless Motivation

GASP! The title!

The F word(s). Fear. Failure.

Truth be told, simply typing the title of this blog , I find myself holding my breath. Why? It’s scary out there. We set goals then what? Where does the motivation come from to reach them.  Who do we rely on? Who saves us? Who shifts our mindset? Who pushes us to get there?

I can’t tell you how many times I have felt AND still feel fear. I also know that successful people aren’t numb to fear. Every time it happens I tell myself to ‘shut up, feel it and move through it.’  But…..I don’t always get through it. Then, I quickly remind myself:

Take the risk. Dig deep.

To achieve your goals, you must take consistent action. After facing failure, people often work twice as hard to make sure they are all in for the win the next time. That’s why this is one of the most important reasons you need to fail. Wait, what?! Yeah, so you can work twice as hard. Hard work pays off.

If you succeed, celebrate. If you fail, celebrate and RE-CALIBRATE.

Let’s talk about taking action. There’s internal action —you have great plans in your head but you don’t do shit with any of it. They just hang out in your brain. (guilty!). Then, there’s external action – where you have the ability to get out of your own head and put those plans in motion.

If you want your life to be different, you have to make it happen. There is no perfect time.  Waiting for that to happen would mean the following: crystal clear thoughts, perfection is all around, worry doesn’t exist, anxiety is not a thing, procrastination isn’t real…do you get where I am going with this?! The perfect time is not going to happen. Waiting for it will make life even more challenging.

I don’t know about you, but when I look back at my life, I don’t want to see the changes I never made, the people I never helped, the things I didn’t do for my children, the things I stayed stuck in, the knowledge I never applied, the lifestyle changes I didn’t make….

Crushing to think about, isnt’ it?

Visualizing that makes the words FEARLESS MOTIVATION very real to me.  Here’s the reality: the action is the separation between where we are and where we want to be.

Maybe it’s a job you feel stuck in. Maybe it’s a relationship. Maybe it’s a business you have yet to start. Maybe you’re disappointed in your health choices. CHANGE IT. Take the action. Build the life you desire and deserve. Will it be easy ? No. It will challenge and test you in ways you never thought possible. Worth it? Yes.

Successful people don’t wait. They don’t make excuses. They don’t hide under a blanket of fear.

 

I convince myself daily that I am not here to quit. I am not here to help others quit.

Let nothing stop you from moving forward.  Look in the mirror. THAT person staring back at you is fully capable of living the life they want. Look beyond the past. See and feel the excitement of the future!  If you want it bad enough….go get it.

So…what will it be? You are what you do. YOU are your motivation.

Let’s help each other grow.

You got this , babe!

-Mylene

 

 

 

What’s your WHY?

We live in a world filled with weapons of mass distraction. Most people are focused on WHAT they have to do–hour to hour, day to day. The to do list seems endless. It  continues to grow longer, we nod our heads in disbelief, wondering why we are never getting ahead. We find ourselves gasping for air, trying desperately to catch a break. We are exhausted and frazzled  just trying to keep up. Just when that breath of air comes our way, those completed tasks are instantly replaced by more to be done.

It’s easy to fill our lives up with things that don’t really matter to us. The trick is to ask ourselves how we spend less time doing unimportant things and more time doing the things we love. (freedom?) It’s not a perfect process where you can drop everything right now, but as you focus from this point on, you’ll be amazed at the results.

Realize this—You cannot do it all.

Stop. Feeling. Sorry. For. Yourself.

Rule #1 : Have a reason(s) for why you do what you do.

Rule #2: Remember those reasons.

Let me say it again…. Stop. Feeling. Sorry. For. Yourself.

WHAT’S YOUR WHY? Your  why is the thing that motivates you to get up every morning and work a little harder to get a little better. It is the very thing that PUSHES you when all you want to do is PULL away in resistance.

The average 4-year-old kid asks 390 questions per day. Guess what the majority of them are? You guessed it…”WHY”? So, become that 4 year- old kid and ask yourself WHY.

What’s MY why?  Write down an answer. Write another one and another one. Keep writing until one of them gives you goosebumps, gets you choked up, makes your pen shake…makes you eyes well up with tears. The answer(s) that produces tear stains on your paper…..THAT..THAT, my friend IS YOUR WHY.

“There is no passion to be found playing small — in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” — Nelson Mandela

Whenever a new item comes across your plate, you simply ask yourself why. Make the choice that is right for YOU. I say this because we immediately scan our decision to make sure that everyone else in the universe is happy  BEFORE ourselves. WHY?!? Wipe the tears and open your eyes. You are worth it.

If you are not feeling motivated, if your business is not moving forward, or if you find yourself feeling stuck—check yourself. Quadruple check your “why”. Is it strong  enough to pull you through the rough spots? Is it powerful enough to make you push yourself to do the things? Even when  you don’t want to do them?

Find your thing that gives you joy every day, that is worth getting up for. Forget about your boundaries… chances are those are limits that YOU created in your head. Get out of your own freaking way. I encourage you to step away from society’s expectations. Focus on changing your heart lens and really, I mean REALLY, take a good look at what is important to you. 

 

 

It’s extremely difficult to improve your  life if you don’t know what improvement actually looks like for you personally. However, if you are plugged into your why–the why that gets you up in the morning and motivates you to give your all now so you can have the future you dream of–the how  will not be the issue.

Once you find an answer to your WHY that truly speaks to your soul (like, IGNITES you to the point that you SEE the fire that will blaze your trail. You feel the heat from it..the heat that causes you to quit making excuses and move your ass) your very next question should be….

WHAT THE HECK AM I WAITING FOR?

Repeat after me,  out loud AND in a confident voice: My ability to conquer my challenges is limitless; my potential to succeed is infinite! My obstacles are moving out of my way; my path is carved towards greatness!

Love,

Mylene

“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.” — Maya Angelou

 

 

 

 

 

 

What the Prep?!?

Y’all. Meal Prep Sunday is a holiday– in case you didn’t know.

No two ways about it….I love meal prep. I LOVE my Sunday meal prep.I love helping others be successful meal preppers. Have I always been that way? NO! I have had my fair share of consistent drive-thru days, supersize the fries and the Dr. Pepper please. When I slowly transitioned to weekly meal prep, I quickly realized that it supersized my life in ALL areas…beyond the fries, people. There is life beyond a Supersized #4.

Why did I stick with it? As a mom of 3 who works from home as well as outside of the home -commuting and traveling (I run an online fitness business and am a hair restoration surgical tech and national trainer.) I completely get it! My routine is really simple – I make the food, I take the food, I eat the food. To give you an example of my upcoming week- I work 5 days- commute is an hour plus each way. I’ll wake up at 4am, workout. 6am get kids up, 630am to bus stop. Then, I hit the road. I pack up/set out EVERYTHING I possibly can the night before. Type A? Possibly. Obsessively consistent? That too. Organized? Yes.

It really is the number one reason that I am able to stay on track with my nutrition and it also helps me to start  my week off with a healthy, fresh, FUELED  mindset.  Having all my meals planned out and my fridge stocked with optimal food choices excites me a great deal! Plan your success…it doesn’t happen on accident.

Weekly meal prep can be a tad overwhelming at first but once you wrap your mind around the benefits of it, you can scoot it up to one of the top spots of your priority list. That being said, let’s dive right in and take a look at some of the benefits:

Is this the face you make when someone says ‘Meal Prep’?!?

 BENEFITS TO MEAL PREPPING:

Strength during those times of weakness:   Truth x100.  When I prep my meals every Sunday, I always make a list of what I need at the grocery store and stick to it. BUT…what about my kids??? I buy them what they like, within reason. The difference is backing it with education. They know how to make healthy choices. They know how to have a cookie, not an entire box of cookies. My job as a parent is to educate them on the importance of eating healthy so that they are empowered to make those healthy choices on their own as they get older. However, when there are prepped meals, the temptation for me to crumble to the almighty cookie is decreased. You’ll find that your tastebuds will change as you continue to eat healthy food too! BONUS. Who knows, your cravings for kale may be fierce 😉

Money saver. Cha-CHING!  I don’t know about you, but before meal planning I was in the ‘wing it’ category of life. I was either hauling ass into the store after work to make whatever, or ordering delivery or spending a lot on going out to eat or the drive thru diet. Let’s be real…going out to eat after work with 3 kids in tow IS work. Occasionally is good, consistently is not good for my sanity.  I decided to hang up my straight jacket and plan a week’s worth of breakfasts, lunches and snacks. Less waste too!

Been there? restaurant with kids?

Time Management.  It gives me more time during the week to get other things done besides hanging out in the kitchen. Not to mention, the more time I spend in the kitchen the more likely I am to be faceplanted in the pantry. Meal prep = saving grace. Last thing I want to do after working all day and sitting in an traffic for 1.5 hours is think about what’s for dinner.

Breakfast and lunch for 5 people. Recipes posted at end of blog!

Helps to meet GOALS- in all aspects of life. 

Food is FUEL. I know I say that a lot but I cannot stress the importance of understanding and embracing that. Eat like crap, feel like crap. Don’t eat like crap, don’t feel like crap. Planning out meals teaches not only portion control but also puts your body in an optimal state because you are fueling it with real, whole, nutrient-dense food. BRAIN POWER. It gives you energy, sharpens your focus and really just makes you so much more driven and ambitious!  The bod you live in requires healthy food for endurance, strength and even weight loss so …meal prep for the win!

Great way to try new foods. I hear it often …Mylene, I cannot eat the same thing for every meal. Ummmmm….where’s that rule? Who said you had to? Look, if everything I have made in the past tasted like cardboard and styrofoam…I would not still be in it AND sharing it!  Meal prep doesn’t have to be boring. If you choose to get creative and try new things, I promise you the meal prep mafia will not come looking for you and steal your spatula.  Pinterest is a great source of healthy recipes. You don’t have to make them all at once. Pick a couple and roll with it. If prepping for the entire week intimidates you, start by doing just a couple of days and see what it does for you!

FAVORITE BREAKFAST RECIPES/ITEMS:

http://www.mynaturalfamily.com/recipes/paleo-recipes/paleo-egg-muffins-recipes/

Protein Pancakes – I use Kodiak  brand, simple instructions on box! (I like to add sauteed cinnamon apples as a topping)

Amy Lu Organic Chicken Sausage (Costco)

Berries! Specifically blackberries and blueberries

http://www.paleorunningmomma.com/paleo-breakfast-casserole-whole30/

Hard-boiled Eggs

Salad for breakfast- YES! Just mix the dressing and keep on the side to avoid wilted, sad greens.  http://australianavocados.com.au/recipes/blt-breakfast-salad-soft-boiled-eggs-and-avocado

FAVORITE LUNCH/DINNER RECIPES:

https://savorandfancy.com/2016/10/22/aip-paleo-whole30-instapot-recipe-sesame-garlic-beef-short-ribs/ (can serve over rice, quinoa, zucchini noodles, riced cauliflower or a sweet potato! Or, I like to add a little Bragg’s Liquid Aminos,steamed broccoli and bean sprouts to give an Asian twist. Get creative!)

Sausage, Potato and Kale Soup: http://whole30.com/2016/12/whole30-cookbook-1/

Stuffed Sweet Potatoes (I literally will stuff just about anything into a sweet potato! Almond butter and cinnamon is one of my favorite combos.)  http://livinglovingpaleo.com/2015/02/20/enchilada-stuffed-sweet-potatoes/

Paleo Turkey Meatloaf -I like to add shredded zucchini and carrots to mine. http://paleogrubs.com/easy-turkey-meatloaf

 

If making bulk recipes aren’t your thing, you can always just stick to the basics.

When you’re prepping, focus on staple items that are easy to cook and store well. From there, you can mix and match all week long. Create a meal!

Here is a brief list that you can choose from:

• Protein: Chicken breast, lean ground beef, pork tenderloin, flank steak, lean lunch meat (I like Applegate brand turkey breast or roast beef) and low-fat beef jerky
• Fruits and Veggies: fresh is best, frozen/canned no sugar or chemicals added works too!
• Carbohydrates: Oats, quinoa,sweet potatoes, red potatoes,  couscous, brown rice, wild rice, white rice (it’s ok, really! Portion is KEY.)
• Healthy fats: walnuts, almonds, nut butters, avocado, coconut oil, MCT Oil, raw/unsalted seeds, macadamia nuts, cashews, olive oil, avocado oil…

 

 

Other Meal Prep Items I Like:

To avoid your fridge  looking like Tupperware Tetris, I would highly suggest investing in containers such as these BPA free, reusable, stackable ones .

An insulated meal bag, cooler or backpack. This may sound like a luxury item but really makes life easier if you are going to tote around your food. There are many to choose from. I personally LOVE my bag from Six Pack Fitness.

Portion control containers + cookbook can be found here.

Whew! I wanted to make this short and sweet but also as informative as possible. I hope that this helps you to step out of your comfort zone and give meal prep a try! It’s always good to do with friends- have a meal prep & mimosa Sunday (I hope to be able to offer that service to you soon!)

Successful meal prepping requires a plan. Results require consistency. Make this non-negotiable! Most of all make it FUN! Whether you do your meal prep for the week  or just a few days at a time, doing so will help you stick to your meal plan and give you more time and energy for other things. How can I help you make meal prep your B@$*&?!!? Let me know! Your results are a direct reflection of your efforts.

In this together,

Mylene

 

 

It’s okay to say no sometimes…..but it’s also okay to say YES!

We are often told that we should say “no” more, and we should…with some things. However….. we are missing out on A LOT of life because we aren’t saying “yes!” 

A few years back while working at a roofing company, I had the pleasure of listening to keynote speaker Glenn Morshower in a random Monday meeting…. or so I thought. Now, I rarely attended meetings on Mondays, but I had this “self talk” telling me you should really go. When I normally would have said no, I said yes. The speech he gave I remember word for word, without any notes. My life was forever changed! 

Glenn has been an actor in the Hollywood business for years with appearances in shows like Full House and Law & Order SVU, as well as in movies with Brad Pitt and Steve Martin. Glenn had a special message for everyone. It all started with a fish. Yep… A fish. 

He told the story of a small goldfish he met during a hotel stay. Rather than view the tiny creature as decoration, he considered him-or what he assumed to be a “him”-his roommate. Glenn noticed that the fish swam in a small circle, the size of his fish bowl over and over again. He thought of how different their lives were, Glenn traveling all over the country and this fish, never swimming past the small glass bowl. So, he took matters into his own hands and took the fish swimming in the bathtub the next night. At first, the little fish was still, not knowing where he was or what to do. After some time though, he began to swim…he swam in a circle the exact same size of his fish bowl over and over again. Glenn wanted the fish to explore new horizons so with a flick of his wrist, he nudged the little fish a little further out. The goldfish, frightened and confused began swimming again only this time, he knew there was more.

For the rest of Glenn’s almost two week stay, he took the little fish swimming every night. The fish grew bolder and bolder, swimming further each time. On their last night together, Glenn was saddened at the thought of the little goldfish never swimming further than his glass bowl again. He was sure the fish would never have another roommate like him…so he took the fish with him. He walked down into the lobby and told the front desk clerk he was taking that fish. He now lives in an aquarium even larger than the bathtub. 

Aren’t we an awful lot like that fish? We are afraid of leaving our comfort zone. The thought of swimming out further than the size of our bowl scares us. Why? If we only took a leap of faith, we’d see that there is so much more out there to experience than we allow ourselves to enjoy. In order to reach our full potential though, there’s one thing we have to do…follow our whispers. 

Glenn was really big on whispers… and for good reason. At this point, there was a room of about 25 people…. But he was speaking to me. Looking me dead in the eyes, I understood so clearly what he meant. 

A whisper is that inner voice that tells you when something is wrong, that you should walk a different way, or that you should take action……say yes. Whispers give you good ideas and put you in contact with the right people. It’s important to listen to them. If you don’t you’ll get so off track, you won’t know how to recognize them anymore. Whether you believe that these whispers are God, fate speaking to you, or just coincidental gut feelings, they’re there for a reason. All you have to do is listen. They’ll take you out of your fishbowl.

Have you ever had someone just pop into your mind out of what feels like nowhere? You say to yourself, “I should reach out to them and see how they’re doing.” Then….you quiet your whisper and say, “they may think I’m weird or that I  need something from them.” So you don’t do it. You missed what he called a divine appointment.

We have divine appointments on the daily, and our whispers direct us to them….. But when you say “no” you missed an opportunity. God made you an appointment and you cancelled. 

So often we get asked to attend a function, be somewhere, or do something. We tell ourselves we really should do or go (whisper), but we make up these excuses to stay in our fish bowl. Things like “I am really tired, I’ve had a long week” or “I just don’t have anything to wear” or “I won’t know anyone there”. The list could go on…. it’s not real people!!! 

You never know what your purpose for being there would have been, who you would have met, what prayers were trying to be answered, what was trying to manifest in your life. I can assure you that staying in your pjs on the couch is not going to get you out of your fish bowl. 

Listening to your whispers will lead you to the times to say yes and the times to say no. You feel instinctively what you should do. Do not over think it, just take action. 

It will not even make sense sometimes, and it isn’t supposed to. Glenn spoke about his whispers when he would be going to audition for a major role and he got a whisper to put syrup in his shoes. So, without hesitation he filled his shoes with syrup and went to the audition. He nailed it! He said that by having syrup in his shoes and no one else knowing about it made him feel at ease. An inside joke with yourself. It was for his biggest role which was Transformers. He didn’t miss his appointment. 

I have been practicing listening to my whispers for a while now, but still have times where I don’t. I want the year of 2017 to be the year of the whisper. I challenge you to follow your whisper, do not worry about what others will say. It will help you more fully walk in your purpose….. And THAT is life giving!

 
#whispers2017 

-Robin Grannan (Robin) 

Actions speak louder than words! How to build healthy habits. A simple, effective 7 Day Plan.

Serious question– now that we are right smack in the middle of January 2017–how are those New Year’s Resolutions going for ya? Next serious question–do you remember your resolutions? Or maybe you are 2 weeks in and you’re feeling discouraged because your mind-blowing, off-the-reality-chart results don’t exist…..yet. I mean it has been 2  whole weeks.  Before you jump off the health ship…WAIT. Let me help you. Sink or swim? SWIM, baby. I got a 7 Day Plan for you. 

Chances are exercise and eating better were on your list. If you struggle with habit change (we all do!) then this blog is for you.

How many times have you attempted this ‘get healthy’ thing? Once? Twice? Lost count? Well, the good news is I am going to help you develop a simple strategy to tackle the task!

I am going to break it down over the course of SEVEN (yes, 7!) days. You can absolutely do this. I give you the words, right here, right now on this blog and YOU give me the ACTION…deal?! Deal.

Here we go. Get your mind right and read on.

Monday– Pick a healthy habit. Doesn’t have to be big. Start small.  EXAMPLE: maybe you aren’t typically a breakfast eater. Start there. Today you will eat a healthy breakfast. (check out the healthy breakfast ideas at the end of the blog!)

Tuesday– You do the healthy breakfast thing again. Then about mid-morning, when you find yourself reaching for something junky and sugar-ladened, instead you grab a healthy snack! Yeah! That’s TWO things that are going to propel you forward.

Wednesday– also known as Hump Day. No fear! Let’s get over this hump together. What’s the first thing you can do to boost your mood? Get moving. So, you’ll start your morning off by doing at least 5 mins of exercise/stretching.  Your healthy breakfast is waiting for you and your healthy mid-morning snack is going to happen. Do you see where I am going with this? We are building healthy habits AND creating momentum at the same time.

BOOM! It’s DAY 3 and you’ve incorporated 3 new things and you have got to be feeling pretty darn good about yourself at this point! Way to go! You can now refer to Wednesday as PUMP DAY.

Thursday– You are on FIRE! Repeat what you did yesterday (exercise for 5 mins, breakfast, snack) . Now I want you to really focus on what you can do more of. Here’s an idea–WATER. How much water are you currently drinking? This will be your new habit to add today. Drink more water.

Friday– Maybe the nerves are starting to set in because the weekend is coming. STOP. Let me tell you something. The weekends count too! Let’s say on the average there are 4 weekends in a month. Now let’s say that you decide to ‘skip’ the weekends. There are approximately 104 weekends in a year. That’s approximately 104 days that you are telling yourself don’t count. That’s a lot of freaking days!

So what do you add in today? Journaling. Repeat everything you did all week (exercise, healthy breakfast, healthy snack, more water. Get a notebook/ journal –yeah, old school pen + paper — I want you to write down exactly how you are feeling about crushing the last few days!

Saturday-  Repeat your healthy habits- exercise, breakfast, snack, water. Remember that journal entry you did yesterday? Get it. Read it. Be all in it. Why? So you know exactly how far you’ve come and you can reflect on your accomplishments. Celebrate that! Just because it is the weekend doesn’t mean you should sabotage yourself. Today, you will stick to your new habits and add one. Maybe you skip the chips and salsa at dinner or cut your dessert portion in half. Either way, you’re doing something good for you!

Sunday– Day 7! You got it–repeat what you have done for the last 6 days! Don’t stop now. Why would you? If you quit, that only means you’ll have to start again. For the love of health..just keep going!!!!! Today you will make a healthy lunch for tomorrow. No drive-thru diet for you. I’m talking food that will fuel you to power through your day. I am not asking you to meal prep for the entire week. Just. One. Meal. Your lunch. You can do this.

Don’t overthink it. These small actions, compounded over time, will bring big results. By incorporating this 7 Day Plan into your life AND putting it on repeat, you will succeed at the small victories. Consistent small victories= BIG RESULTS.

If you want it, you’ll have to work for it. I am here to support you in any way that I can.

I look forward to celebrating your small victories with YOU!

In this together,

Mylene

 

 

Willpower is a Muscle… Make Gains!!

What is willpower?

The ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.

Your mind can do anything.

The real question is:  can your spirit?

Willpower is a combination of courage, mental stamina, and determination. With all the New Year resolutions upon us, you will have to be mentally strong in order to meet your goals. As human beings, we have this tremendous capability of solving complicated problems, dreaming and imagining new possibilities and mastering complex skills. However, most of us spend our time doing the same mental activities over and over…. day after day.

Our brain is being way underutilized!

We are spending countless hours scrolling through Facebook or binge watching our favorite shows on Netflix, instead of learning a new skill or hobby, or tackling a big project.

Why?!!

Well, because achievement is hard work! Pushing our mental boundaries, and challenging ourselves is uncomfortable, exhausting and hard! It is our willpower muscle that gets us through. People who exercise their willpower and have strengthened that muscle get more done, achieve greater success, are above average, and stand out from the crowd!

How does willpower work and how do we get more of it?

# 1 Get To KNOW Yourself! 

“To succeed at self-control you need to know how you fail” – Dr. McGonigal

 

Self-exploration is necessary to figure out what your trigger points are, your mental traps, and your habits.

So let’s get real, really real!

Time for brutal honesty. You do not have to shout it from the mountain tops, but get real with yourself. I won’t tell, not even if you have ever eaten cake in the middle of the night, or gone to the gym to workout but sat in the sauna for an hour, or meal prepped slices of pizza!

Fun Fact: research shows that people who think they have the most willpower are actually the most likely to lose control when tempted.

Huh?!!  How?!

We tend to overestimate most of our abilities. Ever seen a talent show…. or  American Idol? Everyone  (even if they don’t admit it) think they are going to win. Ask yourself these three questions to help you get REAL!

Where do you most often ‘give in?’

Where do you most often ‘give up?’

What exhausts your willpower muscle the most?

#2 You Have Two Brains!

Just like a bicep or quad, our willpower muscle gets fatigued after a lot of use. Willpower comes from a certain area of our brain, specifically the pre-frontal cortex.

We have two components of our brain. An impulsive pleasure seeker and a wise achiever. Pleasure Seeker wants treats, fun, and entertainment. Achiever wants to make good long-term decisions, this one is determined by willpower. The more our pleasure seeker is tempted by donuts in the teacher’s lounge, the friend who wants us to miss a workout to go to happy hour, or the invitation to play Words With Friends (when we have a project deadline) all exercise our willpower muscle. Achiever brain has to reel us back in. After repeating this hundreds of times throughout the day in different ways, our willpower to say NO gets tired. This is why by the end of the day you binge eat, or skip a workout after saying no all day long. Achiever is constantly fighting the pleasure Seeker. So, willpower is a biological instinct that evolved to help protect ourselves from…ourselves.

We make on average 227 food choices in the average day.

That’s 227 times you have to flex your willpower muscle! No wonder it gets fatigued!

#3  Strengthen your Willpower Muscle!

Since willpower is a muscle, we can exercise it to make it stronger. It is said that at the point in which you want to quit while exerting max effort, that you are only at 40%. It is pushing that mental limit that we push and challenge our brain’s wanting to “play it safe.”

Become a mental athlete!

Next time you are tired, or about to give in, see if you can go just one step further. Commit to one small habit that you will do every single day:  throw one thing away, meditate, or call a family member.

When you are ready to give up or give in, think about it as one more rep for your willpower muscle. Just one more rep! Push just a little farther!

 

#4 Throw Away Your License to “Be Bad”

This is when you do something good and you give yourself permission to be bad.

• I worked out extra hard, now I can have this extra portion.
• I ate great through the week, now I can eat anything all weekend.
• I drank mostly water all day, I can have a Route 44 soda!

This comes about by associating goals with “being good” and therefore deserves a ‘reward.’ By disassociating goals with being good we can stop this behavior all together.

Instead say:

“I have met my goal… and it feels great!”

This way you are associating your achievement with a feeling of desire and value long term.

“I work out because of a great endorphin rush…not to eat more junk food!

#5 The Oh..What the Hell Effect, Throw it Out!

The what the hell effect is detrimental to our goals. This happens when good intentions fall by the wayside. When we start to slip on our goals, and our willpower muscle has fatigued, we begin to feel like a failure. We start thinking “Oh What the Hell? …I might as well give in.”  The moment we slip we feel guilty and self-blame or worse blame others. This shame triggers your body to want dopamine  (the pleasure seeking chemical) so we can feel better. This makes us crave comfort foods, desserts, Facebook scrolling, french fries and even more.

Self-compassion is the answer!

When you can simply forgive yourself for occasionally missing the mark, the quicker you can get back on track. When we wallow in guilt we tend to spiral into a cycle of indulgence and shame. Don’t waste energy on guilt, forgive and move on with it my friends!

Slip up, Let it go!

If we do not exercise our willpower muscle, like any other, it becomes weak. Consciously do extra reps for your willpower muscle. Make sure to rest and recover by meditating or doing something you enjoy. Do those things that make you uncomfortable but you know MUST be done to move you towards your goals… as many times a day as possible. Brain training!

 

Always remember… you can do ANYTHING anyone else has ever done! By using those WILLPOWER GAINS!!

 

-Robin (Robin Grannan)

New Year’s ReSOULutions…take a chance on yourself.

So how do you feel about the upcoming year? Is your outlook optimistic? What do you plan to accomplish? Who do you want to spend your time with? What do you want to be?  Even if you don’t believe in making New Year’s resolutions, read this anyway.

New Year, new YOU! You are hours away from getting 365 blank pages. What will your story say?

Here we are…about to turn the corner into 2017. Are you nodding your head in agreement with those resolutions you are making? Determined to stick with them? No. Matter. What. Look at your list. Is it really about what YOU want or what you think others want for you? Loaded question, right??? I figured I would get that out there before the heavy drinking started (tell me you’re not shooting vodka for breakfast.)

If you noticed, I used the word ‘ReSOULutions’ in this blog title. I encourage you to set goals that will launch your comfy ass forward to find out who you truly are…what are you truly made of? SOUL search in 2017 and beyond. There’s a world of MORE out there for you, I promise.

For example: Does your list begin with an overwhelming desire to lose between 5 and 1 million pounds? Figure out WHY you want to do that. How will that make you feel? How will that help you tackle life? If you don’t have a soul-stabbing, purpose-driven reason..you aren’t connected to the goal. You are making it extra difficult to reach. Dig deep, people.

Look at the list again. Are you holding back? Why? Just as quickly as you placed those self-limitations-replace them with belief. Stand tall, dangit, you deserve the best!

#1 – Love yourself enough to believe YOU CAN accomplish anything.

#2- You might need some help in staying motivated to crush your goals,  so recruit a Success Squad (accountability buddies!) – a group of friends, family, or colleagues who can help you stay focused and accountable.  Get people who will cheer you on, not bring you down. I don’t care what anyone says, you’re not ridin’ solo. We are in this together.

#3 – Celebrate your achievements from 2016. Reflect. What were you doing at the time ? How did you get there? Create momentum and TAKE IT FREAKING WITH YOU INTO 2017!

#4- Define your values. Is it freedom? Is it health? Relationships? Career?  Your values drive your behavior. Put some thought into it.

#5- Goal setting. Get creative! You are allowed to! Shake it up..stretch yourself..get nervous/excited about what you want to accomplish. If you have a really big goal you’d like to achieve, break it up into smaller, more manageable mini-goals. That way you can track your progress and more clearly see the results. Clarity precedes mastery.

Close your eyes. I want you to picture what you want your life to look like. Remember those 365 blank pages? Design your best year. #LifeByDesign

How about we make a pact? Let’s make this year better than the last. Get excited about 2017!

You in? By ‘in’, I mean….ALL IN. <and she smiles>

Happy New Year! Here’s to 2017!

-Mylene Stingley

Let’s talk! Moderation Not Deprivation.

I can’t have that. I’m on a diet. I wish I could just have a small taste but I can’t. I’m on a diet. I can’t wait until I get off of this darn diet so I can have a piece of chocolate. I’m so tired of eating styrofoam and lettuce. Stupid @#$%^!  DIET. <sigh>  If this is  your particular dietary religion, then so sorry! Let us know where to send sympathy cards (I mean this lovingly, of course.)

When we are told we can’t have something, it’s ALL we want. We obsess about it, we dream about it and ultimately we give in and eat it. BUT you don’t eat just ONE, you faceplant into that bag of cookies/candy/chips. Is there really an occasion that calls for you to eat a slice of cake as big as your face? (Getting your eyebrows waxed is not a cake eating occasion, BTW. Neither is ‘because…Monday blues’.)

Then the guilt sets in. We feel like we’ve failed. We give up. We QUIT. For some people an all or nothing rule can be the trigger for full blown rebellion and self-destruction in 3………2……….BOOM!

And the vicious cycle starts over again & again. Why?!??! Because you may have chosen a plan that is completely unrealistic, unsustainable and unenjoyable.

My personal solution? Stick to a plan that allows me to live my life and is flexible enough to adapt. Portion control. Eat smaller portions and enjoy guilt free. If I had a dollar for everytime someone says to me “I can’t believe YOU eat cookies”. I sure do. I’m just not the girl who’s sole purpose on this Earth is to  put the Keebler elves out of business.  Life is for LIVING, people! Think of all the things you CAN do. Here are some things I’ve learned on my journey:

 

DO NOT QUIT. (Quitting is lame. Don’t be lame.)

MODERATION NOT DEPRIVATION (you are not 5 years old. Make good choices.)

DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. (Because you matter!)

DO THE BURPEES. (Don’t hate me for this one. It’s the truth. Modification not deprivation.)

EAT WELL. (Not to be confused with all-you-can-eat )

LAUGH LOTS. (Belly laughter that brings tears to your eyes and quite possibly the occasional snorting sound.)

DRINK YOUR WATER. (Not Dr Pepper flavored water)

SLEEP. (Unplugged. No blinky lights next to your head)

HIGH 5 PEOPLE ALONG THE WAY (even in an elevator. Be the icebreaker.)

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE (accountability!)

CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS! (You know, with shoes and selfies and stuff♡)

 

It’s ok to have a day where the dressing for your salad is, in fact, a waffle fry. The health police will not ban you . Just don’t do it on the daily.

 

 

And for the love of all things health and fitness….

Don’t be an ASKhole- someone who continually asks for advice and does nothing with it. I adore those of you who ask for advice and APPLY ACTION. That’s some powerful stuff and I’ve seen the results with my own eyes! However…..Asking and doing absolutely nothing with it? Yeah, no results cowboy.

You know all that advice you hear about moving more, take the stairs, park further away, walk when you can, etc…..

Yes. Do those things coupled with a sustainable nutritional/lifestyle plan.

Transform your mindset.

Quitting is not an option. Figure out which is YOUR best way. After all, this IS about you.

Move over deprivation. There’s a new kid in town!

 

-Batmom (Mylene Stingley)

Six Ways to Overcome Homeostasis and Achieve Lasting Change!

 

Okay, so I said I would do a follow up to a previous blog post about homeostasis and how it affects making changes in our lives…like the kind that stay! If you haven’t read that post yet…Read it here Homeostasis… the reason WHY you keep backsliding in your life!  I wanted to wait and post this follow up blog as we get closer to the start of the new year, so it would be fresh on the brain. I want to encourage all to know that no matter what has occurred in the past, that at no point is it too late to choose to do things differently. To live YOUR best life possible, which is only unique to us… not one size fits all!  Life is a trial and error process, always will be. We aren’t trying enough!

We try a few things that don’t work for us and we become skeptics of all new things to try… and thus our trial and error journey ends. We never get to the place where it all comes together, and all of the trail and errors land you on SUCCESS.

This list is not the EVERYTHING, it is just a tops list of strategies to help you navigate your way through points of homeostasis which inevitably occur when we are trying to make lasting change!

 

1. Awareness! 

Be aware that homeostasis exists, and be aware it can be both positive and negative. Understand that any changes you are wanting to make that homeostasis will be kicking in, no question! Being aware that it is there gives you back some control to the situation.

2. Set Realistic Pragmatic Expectations!

Remind yourself that the mind will try to resist the changes you are making, the body will also, and more than likely the people around you will also be resistant to your changes…. it isn’t personal! Expect that! Your mind will come up with crazy, irrational excuses and negotiations about how and why you should just go back to doing what you have always done. The mind and body will play tricks on you.

Let’s say you start a new fitness routine and you go for a couple weeks and then BAM! You feel like you’re catching a cold and you say  “Ah man, I have this cold and my body is telling me I need rest, I’ll take a few days off, or maybe rest this whole week. I’ll go back next week.”….. mind you, you just started… your body does not need rest yet,and you likely will not be back next week. It happens ALL. THE. TIME! It is in fact not a proper cold, it is like a bullsh!t cold. It is some psychosomatic (physical illness aggravated by mental factor, emotions, stress, or internal conflict) symptoms. Your mind has created and your body starts to actually feel. Knowing what I know now, I can actually recall the times, and there are many, where I know that this scenario has occurred to me. Not being aware caused me to fall right in to this trap.

3. Prepare for SERIOUS Negotiations! 

Be prepared for serious negotiations with yourself! Know when to press on the gas and when to pull back, slightly. So, maybe you negotiate that feeling of a cold coming on by saying to yourself “I’ll go today, but I will take the next day off”.  That way you are not giving in to your emotions in the moment. Never give in to your emotions in the moment, always negotiate!

4. Develop a Support System of Like Minded People! 

They will understand your emotional labor. You will need and be needed at different times throughout your journey. The roles can be ever-changing. When one is up the other may be down, your tribe will support you emotionally through camaraderie. Find yourself a tribe!

5. Meditation!

Being still allows for us to see different perspectives, and time to explore resolutions, when our otherwise busy lives do not allow our brains to do. Meditation allows for us to recognize homeostasis as it is happening in order to better navigate our obstacles. It is in these moments that you can have very successful negotiations with your own thoughts.

 

6. Visualization!

Visualize daily towards your goals, very specifically what you are trying to change. When you visualize yourself living out your new habits and being the better you you want to be, it helps your brain jump on board with the change, allowing for a new state of homeostasis. When you do not visualize you never allow your brain to fully see the picture of what it looks like to have what you really want.

 

The biggest mistake people make when trying to make changes is that they try to change more than one or two things at a time. You really can not effectively change more than one or two things at a time and be successful, because it will require a finite amount of will power to accomplish these changes. Especially the really difficult changes. So be easy on yourself, and focus in on one thing at a time!

 

Remember, you can do Anything anyone else has ever done!

That is the old me, I am New!

-Robin (Robin Grannan)

 

It takes a village to raise a child and to lift a mother.

If you know me, I don’t sugarcoat. Why?

1) your time is valuable 2.) so is mine 3.) i have laundry to do

Do you smell that? That’s the smell of imperfection coming from my house. Or maybe it’s one of my kids burning a pancake on a stick in the microwave.

The hardest job I have had to date is being a mom. Raising children is hard.  The challenges we face day to day are hard enough without being judged by other moms. As if that’s not enough, sometimes we take it a step further (WHY?) and compare ourselves to other moms. Judging, comparing, comparing, judging, back and forth…take a nap moms! Put that ish to rest! Comparison is the thief of all joy. Mistakes will be made. You may be making one right now- forgetting to sign that permission slip for school? Did you remember the holiday treats for the class party tomorrow?

This time of year is especially tough because your social media feed may be flooded with DIY (note on DIY: it’s DIYBDGIRTFT. Do It Yourself But Didn’t Get It Right The First Time. Been there. Survived. ). So many perfect posts perpetuate this time of year and can very quickly make us feel like if we don’t make this sh!t a  magical, sparkly, perfect extravaganza…well, then, label me a bad mom. Less glitter in life isn’t going to screw up your kid forever. The magic lies in your children going to bed knowing that you love them and they love you despite not being able to put the gingerbread house together with nothing but decade old icing and some antique gumdrops.

Then we have holiday guests, or year round guests for that matter. I absolutely love having people over and what I am about to say is simply because I used to do it. No mas. What you see is  what you get. What is it about when someone announces that they are stopping by /coming over to visit we get this sudden urge to make our homes look like something in a magazine? The adrenaline kicks in, trying to trump the effects of the wine we had while sitting in the closet the night before, and we top-knot our hair LIKE A BOSS and go into a cleaning frenzy. Sweep all things! Sweep the cat! Sweep the dog! Vacuum the guinea pig! Shove all things under something, anything. Toys! Holy moly! Hide all toys. Nope, no kids live here. Hearts racing…they will be here any minute! Do I have time to re-upholster the chairs? Sew new curtains ?  And really,the only thing feng-shui at the close of my cleaning frenzy is the pet fish. Because, well, it’s a fish.

Enter Pinterest. I am baffled by this one- I find that have time to pin 9 billion things when I get sucked into the Pinterest abyss. The reality is I will have a hard time fitting them all in or I will have to work my A off to hire someone to do pinned projects. Some days I’m lucky to have time to pin my hair up. This may be life-changing for you as well: no time to bake all those cookies from scratch? Guess what? It’s OK to buy the ready made, some frosting and some sprinkles. The kids will remember the quality time not the fact you aren’t the next Food Network Star.

Stay at home, work at home, part time work at home/part time stay at home, career, housewife, homeschool, private school, public school…so many choices, right??

And yet, based on our choices we can be labeled as underachieving/overachieving. Let’s get it right- we are ACHIEVING. Achieving what we think is best for our children and our families. It is not one size fits all.

If the mommy guilt continuously weighs us down, how will we ever allow others to lift us up? Why do we feel like we are the last ones to need a break? Crap, man. WE need breaks. It’s OK to say that. Repeat after me- put the vacuum cleaner down, empty the goldfish, stickers and used Kleenex from your clenched hands  and REPEAT AFTER ME….It is OK for me to take a break. I am a human being.

Sharing the stories of “that- time- I -tried- to- be -perfect- and- failed” …THOSE. Those are the stories that are helpful. Those are the stories that reassure us that we are not alone on this journey called  Motherhood.

WE need each other. Our need is not to feel superior and show people how perfect we are and how imperfect everyone else is.

How often do we scroll through social media and  shake our heads in disbelief at what other moms have chosen? Can we change that and nod  in recognition that they are in a place that we, too, may be familiar with ?  Like the mom who cries in the parking lot because she just wants to grocery shop but instead is refereeing  her children who are fighting over the last pack of fruit snacks. Or how about the mom who gets home late from work and eats leftover Halloween candy for dinner? Relatable through transparency. That is what connects us. We all have a story. Ditch the judgement and comparison. Replace it with attention- ask other moms about their dreams, their hopes, their fears. Maybe they want to come over and meet my feng-shui fish and plate up some Halloween candy. Our kids deserve the human version of us. That’s what they will remember.

If I could have you all over for dinner, I would. We could swap stories–a room full of funny mothas. And know this, if I happen to be running home late from work after getting caught by 3 trains with a side of Dallas commuter traffic…..

We just may be eating dinner in my minivan. There’s plenty of food in there. That is the vehicle that will help us survive the zombie apocalyplse.

It takes a village to raise a child….and to lift a mother.

Some days you just settle in, unshowered, messy mom bun, leftover masacara on one eye, unshaved legs and a hot cup of coffee in hand and proudly  declare, “I am doing my best and I know you are too.”

And you share it on your blog 🙂

Thank you for being my virtual village.

Cheers to being perfectly imperfect and our pants being elastic enough in the waist!

Batmom (Mylene Stingley)